God Rejoices in His Works

Lately I've been dealing with a lot of insecurities. I feel like i'm actually dealing with them now and acknowledging that they are there. I'm pursuing healing, but not focusing on my brokeness. I think recently I've had a hard time thinking that I'm enough- that's i'm spiritual enough, likeable enough, pretty enough, etc . In my sin, i look at others and desire to be like them and I dislike myself, because they're accepted, or they're "spiritual." I feel like God is healing me in this. It's so easy for me to just withdraw when i feel this way. When I desire to be loved in community and don't feel loved, i will just stop caring. It's probably some sort of coping mechanism to protect myself from hurting.

I was listening to John Piper's message on God taking pleasure in His Creation. It was awesome. He talked about how in Psalm 104, God rejoices in His works because they show His glory, His wisdom, and His power. He talked about how God's works are an expression of His glory. I don't think I or many others see themselves as the expression of the glory of God. Piper encouraged the body to be who they were created to be and who they were gave God enjoyment. God takes joy and delight in his creation. There are beautiful sights that no man will ever see, but only God will enjoy them. That blows my mind! There are gorgeous flowers on mountain tops that no one can see, but are created for the enjoyment of God. I received a prophetic word in Kansas City this past summer where a woman told me that I was made beautiful not for men's eyes but for the eyes of God. I have this frustration time to time where i feel like people put me in a box and that's i'm so much more than what meets the eye. I have this frustration that since I'm quiet and introverted no one can see that, but you know, God sees that and honestly i think i'm realizing that I was created for God's enjoyment. God enjoys the hidden parts of me, i might even say their purpose was reserved for God to enjoy first before others. I am encouraged to be who i was made to be. It also makes me think of what it looks like to be who i was created to be.

I feel like my insecurity stiffles and hides who i was meant to be. I was meant to shine, not before others, but before God. I do things on my own a lot. I do ministry indepently a lot too. In that place i feel, the most security and i feel the most free. I want this to me true wherever I go and whoever I'm with. It's just so awesome that God delights in me being me. That He desires for me to be free, to be healed, to be at my fullest potential.

It's so hard to believe that I am a reflection of God's glory, but it's true, God delights in creation because it is a reflection of His own glory.

"May the glory of the Lord endure forever; may the Lord rejoice in His works."- Psalm 104:31